last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
