I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
