I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
