we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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