I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
