in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
