I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
