What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
