You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
