420 ftw
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
