she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
