i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize