Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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