I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize