dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
worst night to have a conscience
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
