Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
