from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
