so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
