well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
