Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
