he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
