i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
