You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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