I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
