hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
