I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
zippers are such a cool invention
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
