So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
