ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
