The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
