I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
