you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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