I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
