Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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