That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
