if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
