hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
