Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
