I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
