Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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