happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
