I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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