i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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