You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
