he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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