i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
