WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
