ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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