Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
