i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize