ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize