My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize