We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
