U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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