I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
