Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
