I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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